Basic Playa Training only lasts 9 days.
But you'll remember those nine days for the rest of your life.

You'll spend the best nine days of your life learning what it means to be a mutant in the Insecto ArmyBugs. And when it's over, you'll discover some amazing things. Your mind will be sharper, your body will be lean and hard, you'll be more confident than you've ever been before, and you'll be seeing tracers for the rest of your life.

Suddenly, you'll be ready to take on any challenge, whether it's your Advanced Training assignment or your first job after the ArmyBugs. To learn more about Basic Playa Training, you should talk with someone who's been through it themselves. 

WHAT TO EXPECT IN BASIC PLAYA TRAINING
You'll be asked to do a lot during Basic. But you'll never be asked to do anything you can't do. If you work hard and listen to your instructors, you shouldn't have a problem. Remember, literally thousands of mutants have come before you and many of them didn't think they could get through Basic. The vast majority of them did. And chances are, so will you.

Day 1: During the first day of Basic Playa Training, you'll begin to get used
to ArmyBug life. You'll also start getting into the best shape of your life, as your instructors put you through all kinds of exercises and get you pissing clear. Your new best friend, your XP-3000 supersoaker, will become a primary concern of yours during the day. You'll also learn about stage duty, how to prepare a shade structure that will withstand 70 mph winds, and start on your Basic Supersoaker Marksmanship Course.

Day 2: The second day is marked by a continued focus on physical survival and preliminary setup of your camp. Marksmanship is still a priority as you learn firing positions, range procedures, coaching, steady hold factors and use of scorecards. Laser tag, LED arrays, and tactical image targeting sensors will be introduced during the night as well. Finally, you start learning about using icemelters in formation and precision fire synchronization.

Day 3: Supersoaker marksmanship, establishing your camp perimeter, 
and setting up a stage will be your primary concerns today. You'll practice firing from all positions, rapid reloading, rapid fire, moving with a loaded weapon, sight adjustment, firing at surprise targets and aiming points. Physical survival will move into more practical exercises, as you learn the value of sunscreen and proper hydration. During the night night you'll continue to practice for the precision icemelter brigade.

Day 4: Time to qualify on yourXP-3000! If you've worked hard the past three days, it will pay off now, perhaps with a Sharpshooter or even an Expert badge. You'll make tactical daylight marches, learn security and dispersion discipline, practice guerrilla multimedia warfare exercises, and pair off in simulated hand to hand combat. During the night you'll build an 8'  wall around your village to protect against the dangers on naked underage teenage ravers on X, media whores, and frat boys.

Day 5: You've made it more than half way! Today you'll learn basic first aid, camouflage, how to take cover and set up defensive positions and continue to work with your trusty XP-3000, including night firing. But just because you're in the field, it doesn't mean an end to Party Time. Bayonet drills and hand to hand combat training are included today. With any luck they'll get the porta potties cleaned today and you'll be able to contemplate some serious communion with nature.  Inspection of your living area and weapon today will be tough and exacting.

Days 6-7: This will be your first performance and you'll have a mutation workshop at Mutech Corp's Cyberslut Monster Breast Enhancement camp. During night training, you'll take a tactical march out past the Man and infiltrate the Blue Light District. You'll learn about machine supersoakers, potato guns and water cannons, map and compass reading, brain science, and how to judge terrain, distance and direction to find your village from the other side of Black Rock City during a sandstorm at night with maximum sensory overload. You'll review your performance to make sure that you're ready for the night of the burn.

Days 8-9: The home stretch! You're not struggling through your morning
hangovers and sleep deprivation any more. All of your training has been directed toward these final days - and it will all pay off on the night of the burn. Having met and mastered the physical and mental challenges put before you, there is another, larger component of mutation that you will also master: Style.

Style is the foundation for all you will do as a mutant and all you can become. Throughout your training, you'll learn the Insecto Army Values:

• Looking Good
• Duty Now for the Future
• Respect of the List
• Shameless Promotion
• Humor
• Mutation
• Sarcasm

These values form the basis of your mutant style and they sustain a mutant when the going gets weird. You'll study assimilation, standards of contact, alien awareness, drag race relations, and prevention of sexual turnoffs. 

The Burn: At the end of your ninth day will come the moment you've been working and waiting for - the night of the burn! You'll put on your bio-mech armor and LED arrays and march proudly with the procession to the Man.

You have been assimilated!

Ready for AIT (Advanced Individual Training)? Click here for descriptions of IOS (Insecto Occupational Specialties).